There are times when I think that, because of how screwed up I really am, people would be better without me. I don't mean this in a self-pity sort of feel sorry for me way. I mean that honestly, I see my faults and can't imagine how they could possibly benefit others.
What I don't understand is that God has wired me to need people. Probably the single biggest passion in my life is people.
So how does that make any sense? I am created in a way that is meant to relate with people. I am meant to love.
And yet, I can't get past myself in order to do that. I cannot get past the tangled mess of who I am.
I am meant to love. Yes. But not with my love. My love is tainted, broken, selfish, prideful, and twisted.
I am meant to love. Yes. I am meant to love with His love. I am meant to express Him.
But what of this constant struggle to get over myself, to get past myself, to lose myself?
I need His love to hijack my love. I need His love to take over, to capture, to seize my love and drown it.
I want His love to become the love inside my struggling heart.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Someone told me once that all of our love for others should come out of an overflow of God's love for us. Kinda goes along with what you're saying... Makes sense, though, doesn't it?
I mean, imagine if everyone was firmly rooted in God's love -- they knew who they were in Christ and were completely validated and affirmed in that love and didn't have to look to others for acceptance! That would overflow!! Because you would KNOW that you are loved in spite of your faults, you would love others in spite of their faults.
And another thing to keep in mind about what you said: yes, God wired us to need others, BUT...others are also wired to need US. To need YOU. Just the way you are -- imperfect, broken, and following hard after God. You're JUST the way you are for a reason. Puts things into perspective, huh? :-)
Post a Comment